Enriched and delved deep into the vine of the forest she looked for an escape. A part of her wanted to become one with the earth. It gave her a sense of peace and stillness she never felt before. Her days normally consisted of running around in circles, never knowing which direction to take, the steps to plan or the vision to hold. It was all based on blind intention. But she knew that the life of intention alone would be a long tedious journey compared to already knowing honestly what she truly desired. She realized then in that moment entangled in the tree’s long roots, that her journey was meant to be arduous with rich wisdom to learn. Her presence in itself was expression. And with the gift of expression, the most wisdom gained is through experience. Her tired soul lie there half defeated and ready to stay still and slowly stretch her limbs forever. But the moon’s beacon called between the vine’s long fingers that wrapped around her face. Half awake she seized her sight on its round glow in the sky and energy swarmed her paralyzed body. Ready to break free, yet unable to find a way. That is, if she truly wanted to find a way in the first place. She lie still, swarming, a bomb resting still and working its way into an implosion. Maybe that was the answer, that an implosion would break her from the vine- a collapse of all reason to find new ground- a fresh form of clarity to venture.
The perception of others has nothing to do with you, as everyone is different, uniquely crafted from one’s own thought and experience.
This random statement may seem vague, left open with many questions and empty answers. You may ask yourself for example: Where is the key to unlock this understanding for myself- How do I achieve this?
-And simply this: Only you can. You are the key.
We are the masters of our own lives. We choose where we go, what we think, the clothes we put on every day, the food we consume- how much we consume and so on. It is endless. The first step to understanding the statement above is to take responsibility for where we are right NOW. Not what we did before or what is to come. Now is where we are, and of our own making.
This isn’t a message specifically for the quote above, it’s to help with understanding things that deem true, that ring a bell in our hearts, but not feeling them on an emotional level of understanding.
Before I go into more steps of how to receive messages that seem surface or vague, or that seem to have depth, but you can’t fully understand their utmost meaning, I want to inform you of what I learned from this similar experience.
Since I was a babe, around 5 years old, I have experienced chronic anxiety. Every little thing seemed to overwhelm me. Every challenge, or a simple task, would cause me to freeze and collapse internally. I absorbed wisdom from elders like a sponge for as long as I can remember: Like listening to my Grandmothers and Aunts chatting around the room, mother telling me many times throughout my childood, You can never love anyone else if you don’t love yourself first. Everything I learned held deep value and truth, which is why I’ve held onto it all of these years, but I never had the proper guiding tools to understand and navigate that wisdom into my every day life.
I also want you, reader, to know, I hold nothing to you, you are free, as am I. This is my gift, may it be or not. May you take what I have that helps and carry on- like a ripple in water that spreads. I love you.
The major keys to unlocking understanding of wisdom, is: Seeking, intention, experience, and consistency.
All of these are keys, (give or take whatever you may add) and you, the locksmith. The only answers you will find lie within yourself.
Seeking the answers to your questions is a vital step to discovery. Through seeking deep within the muddled caked layers of nonsense you may have learned and accepted throughout your life lies your truth. When seeking for your truth to find resonance and meaning, you must set the intention to grow, change and to expand. And yes, it’s not a walk through a flowery garden, it’s uncomfortable, as you face many things you have not yet realized or acknowledged. This is where experience is a vital tool to help unlock the different avenues that lead to your truth. Every relational experience in your life can be reflected on how you choose to navigate yours- it is your greatest teacher. With your intention to seek truth, your experience can help you recognize patterns- what does and does not work for you. Everything works together to enlighten us to our truth, our purpose here and what really matters. And the only way to go up is to be consistent in this practice. That is the only way a ripple can continue to spread. That is the way of feeling on an emotional level what the wisdom you seek means. Its facing what is uncomfortable to arrive at the flowery garden. You are your own unique navigator.
Do you dare search your souls to unlock the answers- the truth of who you are? Do you dare to set yourself free and soar?
My immemse love to you,
Pink soft fabric snuggles
The hand that pulls at the looming
Lights, dancing about her feeble stature.
The lion and his lioness circle the
Barricade, her only escape the tiny sun
Peaking through the hole above her head.
A tight squeeze, but she contorts her body
The ground meets her feet, firm, and others stand about.
Too calm she tells herself, her feet feeling tickled,
Looking down to find a bed of bugs that crawl
Their tiny legs up her skin.
I must keep moving, she tells herself.
The fences of scattered homes,
Over high and floating,
Bugs that leave her troubled feet,
Lion and his lioness that follow not far behind-
But she knows she’s safe from the ravenous teeth that build within her curious gut,
And reaches down with a kiss goodbye.
And her feet find a patch of green.
Sweet bundle of brown fur that taps it’s paws
Around the grass-
She reaches the cub that shows its glimmering eyes
And climbs its back, united cordially.
Fingers she runs through it’s hair,
A pulse that travels to her bones-
Late night drinks
With ducks in the background,
Chirping out their lungs.
New friends acquanting again.
Talk is cheap, but going places.
Another drink, I take a beer-
Sip down what the worries carry,
Down to the depths of where nonsense goes.
Fold the apron into my purse,
Spit chatter till my innards bleed-
Bleed out the truths kept hidden,
Hidden, waiting to be set free.
Should I project the usual tantrum:
Of roses being red,
And violets their deepened blue-
Darkened by the vague layer of what should be said,
An Old Letter I Wrote to Myself:
When exhausted, the little things can take over you and push you over the edge- Put the situation into perspective and look at the end result of what the situation will bring.
When confronting someone when a hurtful situation arises, approach the person involved, not someone who is not. When we avoid talking to the person involved in the conflict were experiencing, aka: gossiping, we feel that we have “taken action” to solve the issue, but in reality, we then suppress the issue and make it worse. Directly bringing the issue to the one involved brings closure- for yourself, for possible flourishment of your relationship, and clarity of which direction to go forth in.
Let go of your imaginary control over others. And this will allow space to love and forgive them, and~ let go. Move forward- you serve yourself and the other person more that way.
Each of our lives are built of many stories. These stories are breathed into every life we encounter. Understanding our differences and the lack of control we have of others outside of ourselves will help us to become more flexible and accepting in relationships.
Take time to listen, think, and gain perspective of what kind of person you desire to be, and who in your core you always dreamed of becoming and believe it with all your heart.
Note to myself:
Take time to listen, while parenting, think- what kind of women do you desire they become at their truest potential?
That should be great motivation to: stop, breathe and listen.
“We don’t all fit in the same mold.”
There are too many requirements to breathe- to survive. They say this is the land of the free, a great place to thrive, while us bottom feeders born with no “legacy” scrape to live- scrape to devour the wisdom we yearn, with nothing much left but our dignity to give. You spin us a web, a road map to success, and the moment we tread the thread , we stick, and watch as the hunter comes in to feast it’s prey, without a shying glimpse. Success can definitely be possible, no doubt that things can always pan out, with the right frame of mind and the drive behind.. But we are not made of metal hinged together by the ideas of another man, we are creation we are creator we are of our own accord. We are wholeness, but we categorize like we have that right on each other. Delusional society. Lies after lies fed from one parent to their babe for years and possibly many more to come. Lesser, greater, bullshit that separates the soul from it true nature. It’s purpose to fulfil. I break the chain that grips my ankles grinding horns onto my bones from tug and pull. I break free and become no-one, no longer a part of the system we’ve learned to cling to blindly.
I was among people that came and went. There weren’t any in particular I knew or payed much attention to as we went in passing. The building I roamed about in was dim, cold and wet. There were dark areas in many places. I could tell it was night outside as I looked out a nearby window. Everything seemed to flow in a cycle- it always does. I had a feeling of familiarity when it came to what I was doing, how and where I walked about, like muscle memory. I knew in a sense I was dreaming as I picked up on familiar dream patterns I have, knowing of what is supposed to or what is to certainly happen. This made me ready to change my rhythm, to move in a different way. I looked around and recognized the room I was in was quite large with many random stairs and isles to walk through. The ceiling was very tall with not much light. I looked at the door to the room that was closed and I felt something grow closer and closer to it. I got the feeling of a ravenous presence grew more and more as I inched closer to the door. It felt familiar and not enough to pinpoint, but I knew who this presence was. It held a rage that boiled and spilled over the closer it got to its target – me. My hand was now on the knob of the door. I knew if I opened it up I could possibly be eaten alive or this thing could be consoled by my love and guided to the light.
I turned the knob with optimism, my expectations high, well aware of the possibilities. But I loved this dangerous creature. I felt care for it deep in my heart, so I pursued. Crisp cold air rushed in and prickled my skin as I stared into a pitch dark hallway. I was chilled with anticipation as the uncontrollable force boiled over in the near distance. I knew it was staring at me. It plunged out of nothing into the dim light of the room I was in as I quickly dodged it. Speedily it barreled in and lost balance hitting a wall. It was a lion. Big, hungry and ready to take apart anything in its path, and me as its main target. But I knew it was time to face this beast instead of hide. But to have a chance to calm this beast I had to survive, so I created a diversion as we ran through the building. I tried to not let my fear overtake my compassion as the lion ripped through to its kill. I told it, “You don’t have to do this, you can stop this.” But we continued as we made our way out into the streets of the town. The lion bounced and plummeted through cars and wooden stands, and followed me into a home with a long windy hallway. I climbed to the top of the stairs and reached the last room of the house. I truly feared my life at this point, for the lion was still after me with nothing to lose. I looked at the window to my right and quickly opened it. I was ready for the escape as if it was already set in stone. The wind flowed in and blew the curtains around me as I looked back to see the lion creep itself into the room. I was ready to jump but caught sight of the lions eyes. Their familiar essence paralyzed me. My fright that I felt had overtaken me began to vanish and I slowly walked away from the windows ledge to face this beast. I could feel it battle its uncontrollable rage as it saw my pure love flow into its eyes. Its need to devour subsided as I gently touched its face, my fingers intertwined in its mane.
I drew my face closer to speak to it clearly, “I love you. You are me. I accept you. It is okay.” I spoke this to it through my eyes with no words. Its body and energy shifted, and its eyes softened in surrender. I brushed my hands along its back, calming any remaining nerves that were on edge. “Let’s ride together,” I said in my mind. I felt the lion agree, so I climbed on and we began to ride. Down the stairs and to the street. The dark of the night began to lighten into day. We were one and we loved each other for who we truly were.
Thank you for reading and experiencing such an amazing dream I had. If you don’t already, pay attention to your dreams and write them down. As they may be telling you something important to heal the wounds inside of you. My love to you all!!
Today I caught myself experiencing a feeling of being lost.I felt I was grabbing onto things outside of me too tightly, and any sort of abrupt change would be able to tackle my spirits to the ground. I’ve created a sort of disconnection today- I’ve adopted characteristics that I loath. Out of guilt? Maybe so I could take off responsibility of my emotions, my truth and my actions? Yes- I am acting in the exact sort of way I express to others that I don’t want to be.
Why is that?
Let me answer the question we all know deep down inside that annoying heart place of ours: Because I am making that sort of behavior I “loath” my main focus. In doing so I am not being true to myself, not expressing who I really am and not living by all that I’ve learned and experienced this far.
What I need is the proper BALANCE and proper FOCUS. How do I accomplish that?
So, now I will pull up the courage to give myself some positive affirmations.
What?? I have to encourage myself? Is that even possible when I feel so shitty?
The answer is: YES. These are all ramblings going on in my head whilst I battle this issue. Does it sound the slightest bit familiar to you?
Here I go: I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am talented. I am capable. I am on my own life mission and no one else is on it. I am where i am for a reason- for soul growth and my own personal human experience. I am not on anyone else’s journey but my own. Compassion isn’t weakness, it’s a blessing. Love isn’t a weakness, it heals, it is what we all are in our true form.
One major thing that brings us down is FAILURE. We as people have labeled failure and describe it as such a loss in our lives, a defeated end to whatever it is we are going after that doesn’t work out for us at that time- when in actuality, something not working out for us at a particular time, is actually a door opening to us that is full of possibilities. It’s the chance to practice, to try again, to learn and to grow, which is what life is about.
So, why do we cast our responsibilities onto others? Why do we blame them for the way we feel? Why are we placing a feeling inside of us into another person’s lap and calling it their’s? For example: saying to oneself, “I feel like complete shit.” Then trying to figure out why, you then appoint the blame. ” Oh, yeah, this person wants me to feel this way, they are the reason I have this nasty feeling inside of my gut.”
Now take a step back and reread that.
Why would anyone else be responsible for that feeling you put there yourself? Did that person you put blame on conjure up a spell placing it inside of you to feel? The answer is: NO. You created it. Key word: CREATE. We are creators of the life we live in. We create our moods, we choose what to feel and how it affects us- We choose to live in sorrow or to live in peace.
What stops us from taking responsibility for ourselves?
What is fear? (as found on google dictionary): “An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or threat.”
Key word: BELIEF.
We are afraid to face ourselves- we are afraid to see the bare naked, beautifully honest face of our raw authentic soul- To take control of the power we already attain within us.
In this we create a delusional reality that makes no sense, and serves us no purpose. We make ourselves believe this lie so that we do not have to face what is actually going on in the present moment. We are the ultimate creator of our own lives. We control every action we make in life. But yet we cast our responsibilities so blindly- How dare us! The devil didn’t whisper in my ear and tell me do it, my brain did- and I choose whether or not to change my thoughts to better my life.
If we do not believe we are worthy, beautiful and talented beings, then seeking others’ approval will never completely fill in that belief for ourselves- it will never seem real enough to where we feel whole. So, when we only depend on others’, we keep siphoning approval over and over for the rest of our days, never truly getting to experience the total ecstasy of true love that we already attain within ourselves- Never seeing that gorgeous, honest face that is us, and is with us from first breath to last, and so on before and after the first and last breath of this life that happened.
Our soul is eternal. There is no other way to describe us: we are our own unique spirit/soul/being, just in a temporary physical body.
- Am I blaming others for my responsibilities? (being actions and feelings)
- Now, if so, why am I doing that?
- Is it ever okay to blame others with a grudge, hate or anger?
- Does that help me better myself?
- What does help me better myself?
- How can I be happy? – Is that possible?
The answer is, Yes. Answer those questions you asked yourself. Does any of it put you above others, hold anger or resentment, pain, anguish or suffering?
If so, you need to face yourself and get to know your truth. What does your soul look like? -And how beautiful would that be for you to share it with the world .
The approval we daydream about getting from others is already true!! We know it. Our soul is bringing it up to us because we are in need of healing- we know that, that part of us that is broken needs nurturing. But what happens? We cast if off again to be someone else’s responsibility as well!
That feeling, that truth is inside of us, it is us. We just need to open our stubborn ungrateful arms and embrace its magnificent beauty that is already is.
The reason someone can have such a huge affect on the way we feel, is that we rely on them completely instead of ourselves. Which is why we get our feelings hurt so badly by another person.
- For one: they aren’t giving us the positive affirmations that we need to be giving ourselves.
- And two: How their actions make us feel is a reflection of our self.
Like I said before, they didn’t put that feeling in us- that feeling was summoned up from our truth box; our inner being; our light- to help us on our way to healing and seeing our truth, our reality.
We may not know how to deal with the truth, because we become so used to taking that positive energy from other people, and not putting the effort into creating our own. But the fact is, no one can make us whole, but ourselves- Because we are ourselves and no one else.
To call someone good or bad is irrelevant-
-Like Shakespeare said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
To place judgement on others for who they are and how they live their life is also irrelevant.
-Like Jesus said, “To those who have not sinned, cast the first stone.” and they all dropped their stones to the floor.
We are all on our own journey, and not all of us are on the same level as the other. In knowing this we must respect that fact and do what we came here to do. That is to live our truth, and in that, inspire and uplift others around the world. We are all placed here for a reason, which is our own.
I hope that this resonated with you.
Enjoy your life and strive to be your best, keep learning and growing.
All my love sent your way,
❤ Rebekah ❤
Pounding on the ground, My feet that run- They follow the path of hidden light And beat against the drum. I catch a glimpse of the road's end, Beautiful death that beckons me- A door so firm, That stands of solid oak and ivy- It whispers Calling to me sweetly. I taste the dirt That drifts to my tongue, Which sifts amongst the jostled trail- Richer as I travel near. Foot prints surround the floor. I recognize them As they lead me to the illuminating door. Placed in all directions; In indecisive patterns, It seems that I've been here before. Mischievous vines entrap its prey- How their thorns dig deep Into my skin, Scolding me with familiar words. Reeling in until I start to bend. And then a thump Of that bold sound, Comes thundering through me Like a drum. My feet begin to pound As I rip the venomous vines free, Tethered no more to the depths of me. I plunge forth at last, The knob lie cold beneath my hand. I give a turn And let the light consume my darkest wounds, That then eliminate their constant fright. By: Rebekah Turney
We’ve traveled far
Through many stars.
We know their names
And exactly who we are.
Though we may not know
At this moment-
Though we’ve not known
Through all our years
In this embodiment,
We hold the key
To unlock it.
It’s the most grand
Of all things to know-
Who we are exactly,
And which stars we’ve
Sought past as we go.
By: Rebekah Turney