How we feel about ourselves shows through our every day life: from how we’re dressed, the conditions of our living space, the friends we choose to the very attitude we possess. We display the amount of love we have for ourselves everyday out for the world to see just by how we are living. When you look at yourself, how are you living? And why?
My whole life I have dealt with a feeling of not being good enough. It has been to the point where I only see myself, everything I do in every moment has been judged by me, and I don’t see the world and everyone around me for who they are and what reality truly is. I have dealt with an intense amount of anxiety where I have placed judgement on myself so harshly that I created a false sense of who I am for others around to see as “perfect.” I felt who I really was could never keep up or fulfill the image of perfection that was always “expected” of me to be. From years of this inner torment and abuse I not only created a world of illusion, but I had prevented myself from sharing with others the worth and beauty of my soul I never knew existed until now. I’ve decided to change the way I think completely- I am transforming my roots. Does this stir up any familiar feelings within you? Like a pit that weighs a ton in your stomach and your chest as it cries out, that’s me! This decision is not simple of course, it’s a process, and a process requires patience and, yes, time. But what has only been a couple of years feels like a huge amount of growth for me. And that is from consistency and perceverance. Self growth is possible for everyone.
In other words I decided to take the road less traveled. I felt shame and I recognized it for what it truly was. I don’t confuse my emotions any longer, or make excuses as to why I should keep them forever as my fate, because I made a conscious choice not to. I have decided to do what is best for me- so I felt the shame that has tormented me inside my gut for as long as I can remember, back to my childhood, I allowed it in and acknowledged it’s existence, because it was there and there was no hiding it or excusing the poisonous feeling. What is the point of dancing around truth? Just to dance around it some more and more and be overcome with exhaustion. Or should I set myself free? –
The day I set myself free was the day I acknowledged my emotions AS THEY ARE. How can it be so simple as to feel your emotions as they are? There are times where we don’t even know what emotion is ours or we feel pressured by an emotion we think we should feel. Start with what’s apparent. You angry? Take a second to feel that anger. Then ask yourself what got you so mad. Distract your overtemperment and surrender your self judgement by looking in as an observer and ask yourself questions. Create a sense of purpose for yourself by finding the root of the issue, and possibly try looking at it as a meaningful game for yourself where you play detective and it’s all about you and taking care of your needs. Asking yourself questions is an act of self love. And if you feel like you aren’t there, that you’re at a place where self love is too far off the spectrum for you, you’re not alone. So, know that every act of self exploration taken is loving yourself, it’s a step closer and closer to knowing your soul which in its true essence is love.
Life is literally a playground – a beautiful playground with endless things to learn, and it is through learning how we grow. There is never a point reached in the life we live on earth where we cannot learn anything more. So, then why not play? Why not revel in the fact that we are here for a purpose, to learn and grow into our true authenticity. We are here to find our way back to the core of who we are, that we are all connected and where we come from is the source of all love, the creator, our God or whatever you claim.
What is the point of all this self love talk? Many of us have thought, giving of ourselves and loving others is what God asks of us, or , giving to others is just what I morally believe and how I was raised- so that alone gives us no motivation to look within for what we already have, but all the motivation to look to outward sources for what cannot make us whole or make fit of the puzzle piece that is uniquely made for us individually and that is also separated by us in the first place of our own accord- through childhood and what we were taught we “should” be. Are we giving because we want to help others truly through the love and happiness of our hearts or do we want to be accepted by others? Or are we inspired by both? It is not possible for us to be capable of helping and loving others if we are not right inside of ourselves first. We are all projectors of the way we feel about ourselves. So, loving ourselves is loving others. The more we care and nurture ourselves, the more we do that for others. It causes a ripple effect. When we see the love we are inside, we see it in others and treat them accordingly. We then have clear vision of the truth we can then light the way for others to experience the same for themselves. Why do I sit here and write messages for those who may possibly read This? Because I’ve seen a light within myself and I want you, reader, to know you have it too and that it’s beautiful. So unique and so beautiful. I see it, I feel it- in me and in all of you.
What inspires you in someone else is what you already possess within you. The light that flickers within, that admiration, the spark to a potential flame are the capabilities and power you wield within yourself ready to be ignited and grown into a blazing fire. Growing to know and love ourselves more helps us to realize we are the love that which we seek, the talent we strive to be, the knowledge we wish to attain- we are.
It starts with a little seedling from a tree. This seed is unique from the rest, and so on and so forth for all the others. They fall down to the ground at different times in different ways. They all have a purpose to drop and grow at the pace and accordance fit for them. They are each different but same in beauty. As for every person here on earth. So we plant our seed, some sooner some later, we grow at the speed meant for us, and it all works together as a whole, meant to be- each encounter, embrace, sorrow, joy; all in perfect cadence for our greater good and achievement. Each moment has meaning each moment holds value and a lesson to learn about ourselves and all as a whole.
I love you all. Please keep reaching through the branches of your beautiful soul.