Today I caught myself experiencing a feeling of being lost.I felt I was grabbing onto things outside of me too tightly, and any sort of abrupt change would be able to tackle my spirits to the ground. I’ve created a sort of disconnection today- I’ve adopted characteristics that I loath. Out of guilt? Maybe so I could take off responsibility of my emotions, my truth and my actions? Yes- I am acting in the exact sort of way I express to others that I don’t want to be.
Why is that?
Let me answer the question we all know deep down inside that annoying heart place of ours: Because I am making that sort of behavior I “loath” my main focus. In doing so I am not being true to myself, not expressing who I really am and not living by all that I’ve learned and experienced this far.
What I need is the proper BALANCE and proper FOCUS. How do I accomplish that?
So, now I will pull up the courage to give myself some positive affirmations.
What?? I have to encourage myself? Is that even possible when I feel so shitty?
The answer is: YES. These are all ramblings going on in my head whilst I battle this issue. Does it sound the slightest bit familiar to you?
Here I go: I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am talented. I am capable. I am on my own life mission and no one else is on it. I am where i am for a reason- for soul growth and my own personal human experience. I am not on anyone else’s journey but my own. Compassion isn’t weakness, it’s a blessing. Love isn’t a weakness, it heals, it is what we all are in our true form.
One major thing that brings us down is FAILURE. We as people have labeled failure and describe it as such a loss in our lives, a defeated end to whatever it is we are going after that doesn’t work out for us at that time- when in actuality, something not working out for us at a particular time, is actually a door opening to us that is full of possibilities. It’s the chance to practice, to try again, to learn and to grow, which is what life is about.
So, why do we cast our responsibilities onto others? Why do we blame them for the way we feel? Why are we placing a feeling inside of us into another person’s lap and calling it their’s? For example: saying to oneself, “I feel like complete shit.” Then trying to figure out why, you then appoint the blame. ” Oh, yeah, this person wants me to feel this way, they are the reason I have this nasty feeling inside of my gut.”
Now take a step back and reread that.
Why would anyone else be responsible for that feeling you put there yourself? Did that person you put blame on conjure up a spell placing it inside of you to feel? The answer is: NO. You created it. Key word: CREATE. We are creators of the life we live in. We create our moods, we choose what to feel and how it affects us- We choose to live in sorrow or to live in peace.
What stops us from taking responsibility for ourselves?
What is fear? (as found on google dictionary): “An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or threat.”
Key word: BELIEF.
We are afraid to face ourselves- we are afraid to see the bare naked, beautifully honest face of our raw authentic soul- To take control of the power we already attain within us.
In this we create a delusional reality that makes no sense, and serves us no purpose. We make ourselves believe this lie so that we do not have to face what is actually going on in the present moment. We are the ultimate creator of our own lives. We control every action we make in life. But yet we cast our responsibilities so blindly- How dare us! The devil didn’t whisper in my ear and tell me do it, my brain did- and I choose whether or not to change my thoughts to better my life.
If we do not believe we are worthy, beautiful and talented beings, then seeking others’ approval will never completely fill in that belief for ourselves- it will never seem real enough to where we feel whole. So, when we only depend on others’, we keep siphoning approval over and over for the rest of our days, never truly getting to experience the total ecstasy of true love that we already attain within ourselves- Never seeing that gorgeous, honest face that is us, and is with us from first breath to last, and so on before and after the first and last breath of this life that happened.
Our soul is eternal. There is no other way to describe us: we are our own unique spirit/soul/being, just in a temporary physical body.
- Am I blaming others for my responsibilities? (being actions and feelings)
- Now, if so, why am I doing that?
- Is it ever okay to blame others with a grudge, hate or anger?
- Does that help me better myself?
- What does help me better myself?
- How can I be happy? – Is that possible?
The answer is, Yes. Answer those questions you asked yourself. Does any of it put you above others, hold anger or resentment, pain, anguish or suffering?
If so, you need to face yourself and get to know your truth. What does your soul look like? -And how beautiful would that be for you to share it with the world .
The approval we daydream about getting from others is already true!! We know it. Our soul is bringing it up to us because we are in need of healing- we know that, that part of us that is broken needs nurturing. But what happens? We cast if off again to be someone else’s responsibility as well!
That feeling, that truth is inside of us, it is us. We just need to open our stubborn ungrateful arms and embrace its magnificent beauty that is already is.
The reason someone can have such a huge affect on the way we feel, is that we rely on them completely instead of ourselves. Which is why we get our feelings hurt so badly by another person.
- For one: they aren’t giving us the positive affirmations that we need to be giving ourselves.
- And two: How their actions make us feel is a reflection of our self.
Like I said before, they didn’t put that feeling in us- that feeling was summoned up from our truth box; our inner being; our light- to help us on our way to healing and seeing our truth, our reality.
We may not know how to deal with the truth, because we become so used to taking that positive energy from other people, and not putting the effort into creating our own. But the fact is, no one can make us whole, but ourselves- Because we are ourselves and no one else.
To call someone good or bad is irrelevant-
-Like Shakespeare said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
To place judgement on others for who they are and how they live their life is also irrelevant.
-Like Jesus said, “To those who have not sinned, cast the first stone.” and they all dropped their stones to the floor.
We are all on our own journey, and not all of us are on the same level as the other. In knowing this we must respect that fact and do what we came here to do. That is to live our truth, and in that, inspire and uplift others around the world. We are all placed here for a reason, which is our own.
I hope that this resonated with you.
Enjoy your life and strive to be your best, keep learning and growing.
All my love sent your way,
❤ Rebekah ❤